Children’s Self-Esteem, The Verbal Environment

            Young children continually gather information about their value as persons through interactions with the significant adults in their lives.  This process begins in the home but very quickly extends to the educational settings in which children participate. 

                Adults convey either enhancing or damaging attitudes that frequently are manifested in what they say to children and how they say it.  Such manifestations may or may not be the result of conscious decisions on their part.  Yet teacher verbalizations are a key factor in the degree to which children perceive themselves as worthy and competent or the opposite.

                Positive verbal environments are important and beneficial both to the children and the adults who participate in them.  In such an atmosphere, children get the message that they are important.  This enhances their self-perceptions of competence and worth.  Additionally, children’s self-awareness increases as they have opportunities to express themselves, explore ideas and interact spontaneously with other children and adults.  These conditions also increase the likelihood that children will view the adults as sources of comfort and support.

Characteristics of the Negative Verbal Environment:

1. Adults show little or no interest in children’s activities because they are in a hurry, busy, engrossed in their own thoughts and endeavors, or tired.
2. Adults pay superficial attention to what children have to say.
3. Adults speak discourteously to children (interrupt them, expect them to respond immediately to you, not letting them finish, having an impatient or sarcastic tone.
4. Adults use judgmental vocabulary in describing children to themselves and others.
5. Adults actively discourage children from talking to them.
6. Grownups rely on giving orders and making demands as their number-one means of relating to children.
7. Adults ask questions for which no real answer is expected or desired.
8. Caregivers use children’s names as synonyms for the words, “no,” “stop” or “don’t.”
9. Adults use baby talk in giving information or directions. (Instead of clearly stating, “Gabe, please put the puzzle away,” adults confuse and demean children by saying, “We need to put the puzzle away,” when they have no intention of assisting.)
10. Adults dominate the verbal exchanges that take place each day.

Characteristics of a Positive Verbal Environment

1. Adults use words to show affection for children and sincere interest in them.
2. Adults send congruent verbal and nonverbal messages (as well as talking, getting down on their level, smiling, etc…).
3. Adults extend invitations to children to interact with them.
4. Adults listen attentively to what children have to say.
5. Adults speak courteously to children.
6. Adults use children’s interest as a basis for conversation.
7. Adults plan or take advantage of spontaneous opportunities to talk with each child informally.
8. Adults avoid making judgmental comments about children either to them or within their hearing.
9. Adults refrain from speaking when talk would destroy the mood of the interaction.  (Treat silence as a sign of warmth and respect)
10. Grownups focus their attention on children when they professionally engage with them.  (Put off housekeeping tasks and personal socializing so that they are fully available for interaction with children…or involve them in your tasks or socializing!)

How can we establish a Positive Verbal Environment?

1. Familiarize yourself with the features of both positive and negative verbal environments.
2. Listen carefully to what you say and how you say it.
3. Make a deliberate decision to create a positive verbal environment.
4. Keep track of the positive verbal behaviors that you use.
5. Give recognition to other staff members who are attempting to improve the verbal environment for children.